i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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