my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize