You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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