when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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