there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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