God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize