I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize