At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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