Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize