Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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