He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
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He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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