I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize