Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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