My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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