i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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