I faked an abortion last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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