I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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