I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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