i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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