i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize