Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize