If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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