do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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