You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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