So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
birth control should be required to get into college
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He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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