Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We need to rekindle our bromance
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
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Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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