I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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