Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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