After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize