If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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