happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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