Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize