i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize