you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize