Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize