His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize