Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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