just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize