she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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