I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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