I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize