it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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