i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
In America we eat man semen.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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