I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize