Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize