i just google imaged poop.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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