the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize