I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize