Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

what does that even mean?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.

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(610): yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night. (215): what does that even mean? (610): you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life. http://tfl.nu/owon

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm in love with you.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

huh?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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(860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v

Replies (14) Good night (3052) Bad night (644)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

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(410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw

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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2171) Bad night (4367)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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(724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i

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(207): View more from Maine

She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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(207): She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk. http://tfl.nu/dswf

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(937): View more from Ohio

She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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(937): She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain. http://tfl.nu/rayu

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(619): View more from California

definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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(619): definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius http://tfl.nu/ay4s

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(773): View more from Illinois

she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep

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(773): she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xysb

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(520): View more from Arizona

I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.

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(520): I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special. http://tfl.nu/erlc

Replies (8) Good night (3376) Bad night (388)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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(910): A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/fy2b

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.

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(425): I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it. http://tfl.nu/tr7o

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(785): View more from Kansas

Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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(785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0

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(416): View more from Toronto

Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?

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(416): Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best? http://tfl.nu/9x4p

Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (172)
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(415): View more from California

I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

(1-415): View more from California

I don't deserve you.

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(415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri

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