We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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